Sweet Mother of All that is Unholy!~

Okay I just finished the Gentleman's ride, and it kicked my trash!!! Serious trash was kicked...I don't even know how to describe today's events...Woke up way too early, gather as a group...then start out and ride Millcreek Canyon...I was really focusing on being constant and steady today, you know I had a long ride and I wanted to make sure I had enough energy to finish the ride. Millcreek was good, pretty uneventful...the decent down Millcreek was great tho, even tho our friend Brian almost crashed when his pedal slipped. After easy Millcreek we head over to Big Cottonwood, Big Cottonwood is about 14 Miles long. It only has a few steep sections, then the rest is a slight uphill...but don't think it's a cake walk...I did it, and there was no cake at the top...however there were Redvines and turkey sandwiches, so it wasn't a complete waste. Seth and I rode down to the bottom together. It was fun to ride with him...we had a fast tailwind pushing us down the canyon...we were going the speed limit which is really nice because I take the whole lane when I go the speed limit...no need for cars to pass me. Two canyons down one more to go...to tell you the truth I didn't feel that terrible...I was feeling pretty good...then...duhn duhn duh....we climb to the entrance of Little Cottonwood...now let me fill you in on the spec of Little Cottonwood. It is 8 miles long, totally exposed - no shade on the road, the average grade was 8%, and it never flattens out...it is a mean canyon...even with fresh legs, it's mean. So now I begin my journey to find inner strength...quitting is not an option. Even at the entrance of the canyon I am barely turning the cranks over...I had to create head games to stay on my bike...I was going sooo slow that flys started to gather over my decomposing body and vultures were circling above me waiting patiently for me to die. At one point I pulled my bike off the road dunked my helmet in the creek...but that wasn't good enough, so I dunked my head and face in the creek...repeatedly... Then I don't remember much after that because I quickly had to go to a very dark place where I couldn't feel the pain...it was a lonely place...even lonelier when I saw all the other riders head down the canyon and knowing I still had an entire mile to go...a mile doesn't seem like much but at the end of this ride a mile took an eternity to finish. It was brutal! B-R-U-T-A-L-!-!-!- At one point I thought about crying...but realized I couldn't afford the tears since I was out of water. I was forced to pedal one stroke at a time...which is usually the case but most of the time each pedal stroke doesn't try to be the one that kills you. I can describe how demoralizing that last mile was, or I can talk about how exhausted I was, I can even talk about how I am more committed to losing the baby fat I put on...but I won't because there will be too much pain in my words and this post would lose all humor...so I will quickly jump to the end...I got to the top and quietly put my jacket on because it was raining rather hard and got out of that canyon and cranked it all the way home...because I had a BBQ waiting for me. At the end of the ride we had an AMAZING BBQ with all sorts of smoked meats, perfect guacamole - all you could eat, the most prefect fruit salad ever, baked beans, and to top it off Raspberry tart, and lemon ice. Life is definitely delicious.

Overall - I did it, and hopefully I will never have to do it again...but you guys know as well as I do, that I will do it again, and complain about it just as much.