American SuperStar!

I have been feeling like such a lazy loaf of cinnamon raisin bread. This whole time I have been blaming myself because of my lack of motivation, drive, determination, and overall health. Well I’m done blaming myself! I am an American! I can blame other people for my shortcomings…and that is exactly what I am going to do. Starting with Mother Nature, man I don’t know what’s happened to this woman is past relationships with Mr. Spring, but she is pissed at him…how do I know this? Well obviously she is showing off all the marvelous things she can do with Mr. Winter…like freeze entire towns in ice like a mutant would in X-Man. She is being all crazy like telling Mr. Spring to come hang out for like a day then she and Mr. Winter will show up and ruin the party for everyone by kicking Mr. Spring out and freezing everyone out for weeks after that. You know what they say ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. That and she is all super needy with Mr. Winter making sure he never leaves her and all that junk…so typical. Well he better leave her because -it’s freezing – it’s March and I have a race to train for and I don’t run/bike indoors. My advice to Mother Nature; Get over it, lose the boyfriend and give Spring another chance.
I also blame work. Don’t get me wrong I don’t work a lot, but once I am really ready to go train – I realize it’s time to go to work. Work you are just a distraction. I need to get sponsored soon so I can train year round without having to go to a ‘day job’. Sheez!

Hmmm…whom else can I blame? This should be like an Oscar thank you speech. I want to blame my 10th grade soccer coach for never believing in me, and the runner who flew passed my on a steep uphill teaching me the lesson to give up, stop trying because the man will keep you down. Most of all I want to blame the Republicans. Nothing personal to the Republican Party, It’s just the only group I can blame and still have the whole country on my side.

That’s all – I’m just the victim.